Life after Death
by theromancewriter
Summary: Collins is struck with the fact that his lover is gone for good. Until he meets a young girl, that looks and acts like Angel. Collins thinks his met his Angel. Angel is dead and will do anything to get his life back again, even the impossible.
1. Life after Death?

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Rent, they belong to the beloved genius of Jonathan Larson. I do own this story and the characters that I come up with. Please do not steal them, for I will find you.**

Angel looked around him, the walls were all a dark green and the room had a warm cold feeling about it. Angel didn't know where he was, and he was freaked, he couldn't stand not knowing where he was and how he got there. Angel closed his eyes and then opened them, hoping to see a change of view when he opened his eyes. No such thing happened. The walls were still a dark green and the feeling was still the same, Angel was getting more and more freaked as each second ticked by.

"Where am i?" He asked out loud

No answer.

Angel tried to remember how he got here, he wasn't sleeping, he knew that. He couldn't be sleeping, this was to real to be a dream of any sort.

"Come on Angel remember." He said to himself

Angel closed his eyes and tried to remember the last thing that he saw. A room, a light pink came into view behind his closed eyes, the was a beeping sound and in front of him were his friends. Mimi, Roger, Maureen, Joanne, Mark but where was Collins. Angel wanted to know why Collins wasn't in the picture that he remembered.

"Collins!" Angel whispered,

Angel opened his eyes and there again was the dark green room. Angel looked around, he wanted to know where he was.

"Anybody here?" He asked out loud

Angel looked around, nobody was there. Nobody answered his question and Angel was left to himself, his thoughts and his memories, which weren't coming to him.

"Collins where are you? I need you, I need you!" Angel pleaded out loud

No answer.

Angel closed and opened his eyes again, hoping to see a image of Collins his lover in front of him. But instead now a figure dressed in a white skirt and a brown knit sweater was at the other end of the room.

"Hello?" Angel asked

The figure turned around and began walking towards Angel, Angel backed away. He was freaked out even more now, and he didn't want to know what or who the person was. He just wanted Collins.

As the figure came into view Angel stopped backing up and tilted his head.

"Mom?" Angel asked

The woman nodded, Angel rushed into his mothers warm and comfortable arms.

"Why are you here?" Angel asked

"I'm here to help you." HIs mother answered

"Help me with what?" Angel asked backing away from his mothers grip

"You."

"Oh no, this isn't a try-and-get-angel-heterosexual again is it?" Angel asked

Angels mother let out a small giggle. And Angel was a little taken aback from his mothers laughter.

"No. no this isn't. I'm here to help you, accept your situation."

"My situation? what does that mean? where am i?" Angel asked a little angry

"Come with me." His mother said extending her hand which Angel looked at and then after a while took the hand.

Angel was led through a door, and into another room. There on one of the walls was a still of Angel and Collins. Collins was holding Angel, Angel was drenched in sweat and Angel closed his eyes when he saw the picture.

He knew where he was now, and he didn't need anyone to tell him where he was and how it had happened, he knew all too well.

"I cant be here." Angel said hanging his head

His mother put a arm around her son and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm not ready to leave the people i love. Collins. I'm not ready to leave him." Angel sobbed into his mothers shoulder

"I know. i wasn't ready to leave you or your father." Her mother comforted

Angel looked at the picture, it had changed to a scene of Mark, Roger, Mimi, Collins and Angel all in a park watching fireworks. Angel and Collins were in each others arms and Mimi and Roger were kissing. Mark had his camera fixed on Collins and Angel.

The picture changed again, this time of Angel in a doorway, his mascara running from the tears staining his face and Collins was leaning against the wall, his face in his hands.

Angel remembered the conversation that him and his lover had just had.

_"Collins, when i die i want you to just let me die. live your life, love. a life without love is like a life without breath." Angel said_

_Collins looked at his lover, tears began to fall Angels eyes, his mascara began to run and Collins rushed to his lover. Took the fragile man into his arms and held him._

_"I'll never leave you. I wont be able to love again after your gone. I wont, i wont let myself."Collins said_

_Angel weakly pushed Collins away. _

_"You have to, think of it as a gift to me. When I'm up in heaven looking down on you i want to see that your happy not just living your life until your death day. Live it for me. Live like I'm alive."_

_Collins looked at Angel and tears began to pour off of both of the lovers cheeks and hit the floor in sequence._

Angel looked back at his mother.

"I don't remember why Collins wasn't in the hospital room when i died. Why wasn't he there?" Angel asked

Angels mother nodded towards the wall again, and there was a little image that began to play as if a movie was being projected onto the wall.

_Collins looked around the room, there stood all his friends. Mark, MImi, Roger, Maureen, Joanne, everyone was there. Angel was on the bed, he took a deep breath in and sighed. Collins closed his eyes, he couldn't stand this. this wasn't supposed to happen, not this soon at least. _

_'Why cant you wait a few years, until we're ready?' Collins pleaded 'Please, don't take him now' He said to God or whoever was listening to his pleas._

_Angel moaned_

_"Collins." Angels weak voice said_

_Collins looked up and he slowly got up, he walked over to the bed, and bent over to Angels height in the hospital bed. _

_"Yes lovely?" Collins asked_

_"I love you." Angel replied_

_"I love you too." Collins answered. Tears began falling onto Angel from Collins's eyes._

_Angel closed his eyes. _

_"I always will, no matter where you are. no matter who your with. i'll always love you and i'll always be waiting for you to come and take me in your arms and hold me. I'll be waiting." Angel replied_

_"I'll be waiting too." Collins said crying harder now._

_Angel smiled at his lover, and closed his eyes._

_"Can you get me more water?" Angel asked_

_Collins opened his eyes._

_"I don't want to leave you." Collins said_

_"Please. Come back soon though." Angel said_

_Collins closed his eyes, opened them leaned down to Angel and took Angels head in his hands and kissed Angel as passionetly and as loving as he could._

_Collins picked up the glass and began to leave the room, before he did he turned around and looked back at his lover._

_"I love you, and i will forever." Angel said_

_Collins closed his eyes and walked out the room._

_As he walked out the room Angel closed his eyes and passed into the next world. _

"How could i do that? Why didn't i let him stay with me when i died?" Angel screamed at the wall, he turned to his mother and looked at her.

"Watch what Collins does." She said

_The image turned to Collins standing outside the hospital room door with a plastic cup in his hand and he slowly leaned against the wall and let himself slip down the wall._

_Collins's tears were flowing, Collins let his head fall into his hand and he shook with the sobs that were coming out of him._

_Mimi, Mark, Roger, Maureen and Joanne all in tears slowly exited the room after saying their goodbyes and walked past Collins without saying anything to him, without acknowledging he was there._

_Collins slowly got up and walked back into the room._

_Collins looked at the bed, and saw his lover laying lifelessly on the hospital bed. _

_Collins rushed over to the bed and climbed on, he took his lover in his arms and cradled him, shaking with the sobs and kissing Angel over and over again. hoping Angels eyes, would open, his lips part and let Collins embrace him like he used to._

_Collins held Angel for awhile and slowly he looked at Angel._

_"Angel, i'll always love you. I'll never be able to love anyone but you. You are my life." Collins voice began to slowly change into a soft sobbing song "Live in my house, i'll be your shelter. Just pay me back with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, and i'll cover you." _

_Collins broke in hard sobs and he began shaking again. His tears began soaking his dead lover and Collins slowly kissed Angel._

_"I love you. all my life. if your cold and lonely." Collins broke into sobs again and slowly they stopped enough to sing softly "When your heart has expired!" _

Angel fell to the ground, his tears falling as fast as they could.

"I'll cover you." He answered his lovers song

"There is away to help Collins." his mother said

Angel looked up.

"What?"

"Its not recommended but its done often. It will help you and him. You'll be able to love each other again, he'll hold you in his arms and you'll be able to share kisses. its up to you."

Angel looked at his mother and then back on to the wall where the image of his lover cradling his body and covering Angel in kisses.

Angel looked back at his mother.

"What is it?"


	2. Missing you

**To everyone who has reviewed, thank you so much. It really means a lot to me when people review. Thank you for the tips about the I's and such, I really don't want this story to go to waste either. I'm going away for a few weeks so I'm going to try and get a few chapters up within the next few days but don't take my word on it. I usually say that I'm going to write a chapter and then I get writers block. Thanks again!**

**Here's the next chapter, this is a Collins chapter.**

Collins slowly walked out of the graveyard. Everyone was gone, Roger had left for Sante Fe, Maureen and Joanne had left together and so had Mimi and Benny. Mark had wanted to stay behind with Collins but he finally left when Collins asked to be alone with Angels casket.

Collins didn't know what to do with himself anymore, he didn't know if he should go on and live life, he didn't want to. He would rather just die and be with Angel for eternity but Collins would have to wait. Wait for the virus that was flowing through his veins to finally take hold of him, like it had Angel. And then like it had done Angel take Collins away forever.

Collins walked the 26 blocks to Angel and his apartment and slowly opened the door.

Inside was everything that Angel had left behind, his clothing was layed out on the floor from when Mimi and Maureen had been going through it with Collins to decide on a outfit for Angel to wear in the casket.

Collins didn't touch anything, he didn't want anything of Angels to be out of place, he especially didn't want to touch anything that Angel had moved.

Collins sat down on his couch and closed his eyes, Angels voice echoed through Collins head, the voice was from a few weeks before Angel got sick. Angel was deciding to rearrange the furniture and he was trying to get Collins to help him.

_"Honey, move the couch to the left. No not that left the other left. There. Perfect. What do you think?" Angel had asked_

_Collins stepped back from the couch and looked at its position in the room. _

_"Um...I don't know. It looks a little off centre." Collins said_

_Angel tilted his head to the side and looked at the couch._

_"Do you really think so?" Angel asked wanting Collins approval on what he was trying to do with the room._

_"Yeah. I mean it looks a little off, with the whole way the room is." Collins said a smirk spreading across his face._

_Angel playfully slapped Collins's shoulder and looked around the room trying to find something else to move._

_"The table. It should be more in the centre of the room, inline with the couch." Angel said instructing more then checking with Collins_

Collins smiled at the memory. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the room. It was perfect, exactly the way Angel had wanted it.

After that week of rearranging, everything changed. Angel got sick, and he could barely get out of bed some days. He had no energy to do anything, except the times when Collins came home with some alcohol and then Angel perked up and would weakly jump Collins.

Collins tried not to see reality, he didn't want to see it. He was trying to stay in denial about Angels illness as long as he possibly could. Until Angel had talked about Collins loving again, and that was when Collins knew that Angel was going to leave him forever.

Collins closed his eyes again and let himself drift into the land of the dreaming, where Angel was all Collins could see. All the good times that Angel and Collins had experienced together came flooding back to him in that few hours of sleep.

Collins woke up. He slowly opened his eyes, he looked down at his clothing, he was still in the clothing he wore to Angels funeral. He looked around the room hoping that the funeral had been a dream and that Angel would be in the kitchen making him breakfast or getting them beers. But no such luck. Collins had to face the reality that Angel would never greet him again in the apartment they had shared for only a short year.

Collins got up and walked to the bathroom, he leaned over the tub and turned on the water. Letting it flow over his hand, until it got too hot for him to bare and he quickly took his hand back and turned on the shower head. He closed the curtain and slowly he undressed from his clothes. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror.

His chest lifting and falling with his breathing, his muscles tensing. Collins slowly began to take off his hat. Once the hat was off he ran his hand over his head. Over his face, his facial hair felt rough and unwanted under his hand.

Collins turned from his mirror image and got into the shower. He closed his eyes and faced the flow of the water, letting it fall off his body. He began crying, his tears being washed away with the water.

"Oh God Angel." His voice cracking.

Mark looked at his watch, and wondered where Collins was right at this moment. What he was doing. Mark wondered if Collins was still at the cemetery, at Angels grave.

"Do you think he's okay?" Mark asked his friends who were sitting around the table at the Life Cafe.

Mimi shook her head. "I don't know." She answered, life wasn't occupying her anymore.

Mark looked around the table, there sat all his friends. but three. Roger, Collins and Angel were gone. Mark couldn't believe that Roger had really gone to Sante Fe. He couldn't believe after everything that their family of friends had gone through that he would be that selfish and just leave. There in Rogers place at the table sat Benny. Benjamin Coffin the third. A man that Mark hadn't wanted to see much of, but since Mimi was in denial about her feelings towards Roger, Mimi had ran to the only man that she knew would give her the pleasure that Roger couldn't. And sadly that man had to be Benny.

Mark closed his eyes and one by one his friends got up and left the table. After awhile Mark left a little bit of money on the table and walked out of the restaurant. He walked to the park and sat down on a bench. The night was slowly creeping up the days sky, and over taking it.

"We miss you Angel." He whispered the night air.

Collins walked out onto the roof, the roof of his apartment. The roof that he and Angel had shared some of their most memorable moments together on.

_"Don't you love it up here?" Angel asked wearing all white and smiling at Collins. The moon lighting up his pale face._

_"Yeah, and it just got a lot more beautiful." Collins smiled at Angel_

_Angel smiled and bent his head down. He turned to look over the city and Collins walked towards him. He walked up behind Angel and took the man in his arms._

_Angel looked backwards to Collins, the two lovers faces met and Collins leaned down and took Angels lips in his own and they kissed. The held that kiss for as long as they could, not wanting to let go of each other, not wanting to let go of the moment that they were sharing._

_After awhile Angel broke the kiss and stared out onto the city again._

_"I love you." Angel whispered, closing his eyes and letting his head fall against Collins._

Collins wiped away his tear and walked to the spot that Angel had always loved. He sat down on the edge and looked out onto the city.

"I love you Angel."

A girl walked down the avenue. Her white mini skirt waving in the wind, her heels clicking against the pavement. She pushed her black hair out of her eyes and zipped up her red jacket even more. Trying to get the zipper to go higher, to help protect her neck. The wind was getting colder as the night began to fall and she needed to get to her apartment.

She ran across the street and reaching into her purse, she swore under her breath when the key she was looking for wasn't showing up.

"Fuck. Come on." She said to the key, trying to coax it out of its hiding spot in her purse.

Finally she found the key and opened the door to the apartment building, glad that her night shift was over and glad that in a few minutes she would be asleep on her bed.

**I'm really sorry, I don't really feel like that was a good chapter. But it was a chapter and I hope you guys enjoy. I hope to get another chapter up tomorrow so check in. Keep reviewing it makes me want to write more for you guys when you do.**


	3. Anastasia

**I'm really sorry about the last chapter, i had a few lines breaking up sections but when i put it into the story on this site it didn't work. So I'm really sorry that it was a little choppy, I didn't mean to do it on purpose.**

**Here is the next chapter, I'm really happy that you guys are reading and reviewing. In this chapter I'm going to change a few things from the play and movie. Don't get mad at me, its just my way of making things come together.**

Angel looked at the girl in front of him.

"So this is her?" He asked his mother beside him

"Yeah." She answered

Angel tilted his head and tried to get a better look at her, she was gorgeous. She had long black hair, brown eyes and the most beautiful skin that Angel had seen. It was a light brown and it shone with a light that Angel had never seen in anyone before.

"Tell me about her." Angel asked his mother

"She's a mix between african american and italian. She works at a music store and she drums. She was kicked out of her house at the age of 12 and has been living in Alphabet City ever since."

Angel closed his eyes. He was silent for a moment, and his mother started to worry about him. She wanted this to be perfect for Angel and Collins. Everything had to be perfect.

"Anything wrong?" Angels mother asked

"Only one thing, she's a woman." Angel said blankly

Angel opened his eyes and looked at his mother. He watched his mother close her eyes, he knew that his sexuality was a problem with her. It always had been, ever since he was a young teen, his sexuality was the reason he had been kicked out of his house in his middle teen years.

Angel also wanted Collins to be comfortable, he wondered that if Collins found out that this beautiful woman was him, Angel, would Collins be comfortable with this woman?

"It has to be perfect." Angel said out loud, thinking to himself.

"It will be." His mother answered

"I hope it will be." Angel whispered to himself and looked back at the girl "Good luck." He said to the girl, he knew that she couldn't hear him but that didn't matter to him.

**Mark and Collins**

Mark looked at Collins from the other side of the window. His friend was sitting on the balcony, his head in his hands and his body shaking, with the cold and the loss that he had just experienced.

Mark slowly made his way outside to Collins side.

"Collins. i need to ask you something." Mark said

Collins looked up, his face tear stained and red.

"What?" He asked, his voice shaky.

"Would you consider moving in with me? I mean, we're both without... our friends. And I worry about you being alone in that apartment." He said looking straight into the eyes of his friend.

Collins turned away from his friend. He looked out onto the cold city, the rains mist hung in the air. He didn't know what he should do. Collins had been wondering about moving away.

"I was thinking about moving." He said to Mark

Mark looked at his friend.

"Don't run." Mark pleaded

Collins could tell in Marks voice that he wanted the best for him. Collins knew that Mark and all his friends, even though the friendships had fallen apart, that they were all worrying about him and his safety.

"I'm not going to run." Collins said "Just escaping."

"Thats worse. Is this how you deal with things Collins? You get dumped, or someone dies and you run? This is exactly what you did last time." Mark said

"I got a job!" Collins protested

"That's an excuse. You run, you know you run. Everyone that knows you, knows you run. Collins thats not how you deal with things, its just not good for you. It tares you up even more when you run. Because the problem doesn't leave, it just follows you. And I know that you try and get away from it but it always follows you, and it will never leave you. No matter what you do!" Mark said, his worry and temper rising "Angel died for love. He died for you, he died for us. He loved you like I've never seen anyone love a person. And your just going to run from his memory? Then if thats the man you are, then Angel must have been wrong about you."

Mark went back inside the loft. Collins was left to himself, his tears were pouring out. His sobs could be heard from the street below him and he shook. Mark was right, Collins had run the last time.

Collins got up, wiped away his tears and followed Mark into the loft.

"I run. I know I run. I loved Angel. Angel was my life, is my life. He will always be my life. And yes, All I want to know is why he loved me. Why did he choose me? Why me?" Collins broke down on the couch.

Mark ran to his friend and sat beside him, wrapping his small weak arms around the older and bigger man. To Collins it was the blanket he needed.

"He loved you because you are a strong person. You look tough but your a beautiful person under neath. Your strong, you keep this family together. Angel loved you because he needed someone in his life that was like him. Full of love and life. Someone to be partners with, to hold. He loved you because you are amazing!"

Collins and Mark held each other. Collins shook with his tears and Mark cried with his friend.

"He still loves you." Mark whispered into his friends ear.

**Anastasia**

The girl walked down the street. She was cold and hungry. She hated her job, she hated her landlord, and she hated being alone.

Every night, she would please men. Every night she was paid for what she did, and she still felt alone. Pleasing men was not pleasing for yourself.

She stopped and looked up at the sign above her _Cat Scratch Club _ it read, she took a breath in

"Come on, you can do this. You just want a better job, anything to get off the streets." She said to herself, trying to motivate herself.

She opened the doors and walked into the darkly lit strip club. She stood by the bar not really knowing what to do, who to ask for a job. When a man popped his head up from behind the bar, he looked at her.

"We're closed." He said

She looked at him, startled by him. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and took a deep breath.

"I was wondering if there were any job openings." She said "I came to see the manager."

He looked at her. She was beautiful, long black hair and beautiful brown eyes.

"Well lets talk then." He said "Let's go sit at a table. Can I get you anything to drink?" He asked

"A beer would be good." She replied

"Ok, I'll meet you at that table over there in a minute. I'll just get us our drinks."

She walked over to the table, her hips waving with each step she took, he watched her.

She sat down in one of the chairs and looked around, there were 3 levels of stages. It looked like a decent place to work.

He came and sat down beside her, he put her beer down on the table in front of her, and she picked it up and took a sip.

"My name's Gerry, I'm the manager. And what's your name?" He asked

"Uh... my name is Anastasia" She replied

"Well Anastasia. You're in luck, one of my girls left me to go to rehab and I need a replacement. Come tonight at about nine and you can hang out with a couple of the girls. And at the end of the night, if you still want to work here. Then you got a job." Gerry extended his hand and Anastasia took it.

"Thank you very much." She said

**Collins**

Collins tossed and turned in his sleep. He was moaning and mumbling words in his sleep.

_Collins was standing in a bright red room, its walls were decorated with roses, they looked to be hanging off the walls as if by magic. He looked down, the floor was white and it had rose petals all over it. Collins looked at himself and realized he was wearing exactly what he was wearing the day he met Angel in the alley._

_He reached up and touched his face, he felt something wet, and when he looked at his hand he realized that the wetness on his face was blood. _

_He was bleeding like the night he had met Angel._

_"Looking for me?" A voice all too familiar said from the other side of the room._

_Collins looked up and saw Angel. He was dressed in a mini layered white skirt and the red jacket that he had been wearing the night they had met._

_"Angel." Collins whispered amazed that his lover was standing in front of him._

_"Yeah." Angel whispered back_

_Angel ran into Collins arms and the two lovers embraced. Angel kissed Collins neck and Collins breathed in the scent of Angel._

_"I've missed you." Collins said into Angels ear._

_Angel looked at his lover, and smiled. The two shared a kiss and then looked at each other._

_Without warning Angel broke free of his lovers arms and stood there a foot away from the man that had been mourning him and would always mourn him._

_Collins took a deep breath in, and looked at his lover._

_Collins took a step to Angel and took him in his arms, he held him. _

_"Anastasia." Angel whispered into Collins ear._

Collins woke up, he was in Rogers old bed. He was still dressed and he got up and walked to the door.

He walked out of Rogers room and into the loft. Mark was across the loft, the screen pulled down from the ceiling and a image of Angel danced across the screen.

"Hey, I think I'm going to go out for awhile." Collins said to Marks back

Mark turned around and nodded "Ok, I'll see you later."

Collins grabbed his coat, the coat that Angel had bought him and put it on, and walked out of the loft.

He walked out onto the street. And began walking towards his apartment.

"Anastasia." He whispered to himself 'what did you mean by that, Angel?' he thought to himself.

Collins wondered about the name, and why it applied to him, or if it applied to him.


	4. Accidents are on Purpose

**Authors Note: Thank you everyone for reviewing and reading. It means a lot to me, so thank you.**

**Here is a new chapter, this might be my last chapter for a while. I'm going on vacation and i plan to sun tan. Though i will be writing, and i'll update as soon as i come back! There is a small warning for this chapter, it has a lot of swearing and sexual references in it.**

**In this chapter Collins part is in Italics and Anastasia is in plain old font. Hope you enjoy it. **

Anastasia looked in the mirror beside her bed. Her long black hair was loosely hanging onto her back and her clothing hugged her figure perfectly.

She looked at herself and nodded her head, taking a deep breath in.

"Here it goes." She said to her reflection.

She picked up her jacket and walked out of her apartment, and started walking to the Cat Scratch Club.

The walk was cold and lonely, but Anastasia had many years of experience of loneliness and she didn't notice it. She walked not looking at anyone, as she walked past her old corner and without a second glance she kept on walking.

Finally reaching the Club, she fixed her hair and walked in. Telling the guard who she was, she was in. The place was filled with men in suits and men from the street. So this is where both world could collide. It was like a place where your status in the world could be left behind at the door and picked up when you left. Or if you left with a woman then it could be picked up the next day when you returned to work.

Anastasia walked to the bar, and sat down at a stool. She looked at the stage and saw the girls dancing, Anastasia wondered if they enjoyed their jobs, or if it was like being a hooker, it was just a job and that was it. It payed the bills that was all that mattered. Anastasia knew what it was like to have men stare at you, she knew all to well from experience and from years of being a prostitute. This was a job that could get her away from that world. All she'd do is dance and that would be the end of her night.

"You must be the new girl." A girl said.

Anastasia nodded, she looked at the girl. She had long red hair, and she was dressed in a red bra and red skin tight shorts. She had black high heeled boots that came to her knees.

"Yeah, I'm Anastasia." Anastasia introduced herself

"Baby. My names Baby. Welcome to the Cat Scratch Club. Here let me show you around, introduce you to the girls when they come off stage."

Baby took Anastasia's hand and led her down a hallway on the side of the stage and through a door that read _Personnel Only, _Through the door was mirror after mirror after mirror. The girls each had their own station and had decorated it the way they wanted to. The costumes were on many different racks lined on the walls and there were many girls running back and forth to the costumes, looking through them and then back to their stations.

Baby led Anastasia to a mirror. There sat a girl, that had to be younger then Anastasia. She looked to be 14 or 15, only a child and Anastasia got that stab that she felt when she met a new hooker and learned that the girl should still be in elementary school.

"Hey Jules, this is the new girl Anastasia." Baby said

Jules turned around in her chair and looked at Anastasia.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I hope you enjoy your first night here. I'm sure Gerry's not making you dance yet."

"No, he said I'd have to wait a while to dance." Anastasia said

"Yeah, He does that with all the girls." Baby said

Anastasia smiled at Jules and Baby. She was sure she would like this place.

"So what did you do before this?" Jules asked

"I was a prostitute on Tompkins Road." Anastasia said

"Yeah, I was one downtown." Baby said

"Not me. I was born and raised in the Cat Scratch Club." Jules said smiling

A voice yelled from near the stage door "JULES YOUR ON!"

Jules looked quickly in the mirror, then she got up, looked at Anastasia

"It was nice to meet you. I'll see you when I'm done my part." Jules said

"Yeah, nice to meet you too." Anastasia said

Jules rushed to the stage door and again it was just Baby and Anastasia.

"She's Gerry's kid. " Baby explained to Anastasia

"How old is she?" Anastasia asked

"The youngest out of all of us. She's fourteen. Poor girl, she deserves better then this life. She deserves better then Gerry as a father." Baby said when she saw the confused look on Anastasia's face she said "You'll see when your get to know Gerry better."

Anastasia nodded. Baby took Anastasia to a empty mirror and station. It had pictures glued on the corners of the mirror. A beautiful girl standing beside a drag queen, a black guy and two women who were kissing each other.

"Her name was Mimi. She left to go to rehab. Well you can set up. I have to go on stage in a little while." Baby said and before Anastasia could say anything Baby was running to her mirror

Anastasia looked back at the mirror. There were 6 pictures glued to the mirror and in each picture the drag queen was in the centre.

Anastasia couldn't take her eyes off the drag queen. She didn't know who he was, or why she couldn't take her eyes off him but she knew that she had to do with something with him.

"Angel." She said to herself

**Two Weeks later**

**Collins looked at himself in the store window. It was late out, and Collins was drunk. He had never been this drunk for a long time. And he decided to go to a bar and while he was there he got drunk and finally was kicked out.**

**He staggered back to his apartment and collapsed on the bed, asleep within seconds and had a dreamless sleep.**

**When Collins woke up, it was still dark outside and he had a headache the size of New York. He groaned and got up, he walked to the kitchen, holding his head the entire time. He started the coffee maker and sat down in one of the chairs. **

**When the coffee was done, Collins poured himself a cup to go and grabbed his jacket and walked out of the apartment.**

**Collins found that he couldn't spend a long amount of time in the apartment, Angel's memory was drilled into the walls and into the furniture, it was to much for Collins to take.**

**Collins walked down the street, and stopped in Tompkins Square Park. He sat down on one of the benches and took a long sip of his coffee. Taking in the taste and smell of the fresh coffee.**

Anastasia walked through her old hangout, Tompkins Square Park was dark, and beautiful in the white glow coming from the moon, that was hanging directly above her.

She looked around her, there was only one guy in the park and he looked like he wanted to keep to himself.

She smiled, in the last couple of weeks, things had finally been going right for her. Her job and the Cat Scratch Club was working out, Gerry was an asshole, but that didn't matter. She had Baby, Jules and the rest of the girls, they all stood up for each other if Gerry got on any of their cases.

She had been making enough money, to pay for her rent and to buy new clothes and things that she needed and couldn't afford when she was a hooker.

Anastasia sat down on a bench and closed her eyes. She was happy, and nothing could change that.

**Collins noticed a girl, she walked into the park and Mimi popped into Collins head. Mimi had been missing, she had ran away from her rehab and everyone was looking for her. Benny was worried, and Roger was still in Sante Fe, no one knew how to get ahold of him and they all worried about him.**

**Collins wondered if the girl was Mimi, she looked like Mimi from a distance. Collins got up and began to walk towards the girl, he saw another figure approach her and Collins stopped to watch what they would do.**

Anastasia had her eyes closed but she heard someone approach her, and she opened them.

In front of her, stood one of her old clients.

"Marcus, its just you. You scared me." She said taking a deep breath and thankful that it was only him

"Yeah. I've been worried about you Ana, where have you been?" Marcus asked

"I work at the Cat Scratch Club now. I'm surprised that you haven't come in. You seem like the kind of guy that goes to those kinds of places." She said

"I've been busy. Since you've been gone I've had to screw the younger girls. And I'm not a pedifile, I don't do that kind of things with kids." He said

Anastasia could tell his voice getting angrier and she started to back away.

"Then stop doing it Marcus, It's as simple as that." She said

Marcus ran to her, he grabbed her arm in his hand and squeezed, Anastasia gave a small scream of pain and looked at Marcus with fear in her eyes.

"Thanks to you, I'm not being investigated by the police. They think that I like fucking fourteen year olds!"

**Collins saw that the man was causing pain to the girl and Collins dropped his cup of coffee and started to run towards them.**

**He could hear what they were saying.**

**"You're going to pay for what you've caused me to do Ana." The man said**

**"No. Please. Marcus, this is the life I've needed for a long time. You've created what you're doing, it's not my fault." The girl said **

Marcus wrapped his hand around Anastasia's throat and she gasped for breath.

"It's you. Your going to pay!" He said

**Collins rushed to the man, he raised his hand and hit the guy in the head from the side. The man fell, the mans head connected with the bench and he hit the ground. The girl had fallen to the ground and was gasping for air.**

**Collins rushed to her side and bent down.**

**"Are you okay?" Collins asked**

**The girl nodded "I think so." She said still out of breath.**

**The girl tried to get up and couldn't.**

**"Woah, take it easy. Here let me help you." Collins wrapped his arm around the girls waist and she put her arm around his shoulders.**

**Collins got up and the girl groaned when she was standing.**

**"Thank you." She said regaining her breath**

**"Your welcome." Collins said smiling**

**"My name's Anastasia." **

**"Tom Collins, but people call me Collins." Collins said "Can I take you anywhere? You need to rest." He said**

**"My house is just down the block." Anastasia said**

**"Okay, point in the direction and we'll go there." Collins said**

**Anastasia pointed and Collins began walking slowly, his arm still around the girls waist and her arm still around his shoulders. **

**"Who was that guy?" Collins asked "If you don't mind me asking." He added**

**"No, not at all. His name was Marcus, he's an old client of mine. He doesn't realize that I've left my old life and started a new one. I don't do that kind of thing anymore." She said **

Anastasia liked the feel of this guys arm around her waist, it felt right to her. She smiled and felt her face go red. Could she be attracted to this man? She wondered, if he was available.

Anastasia didn't want a man in her life. That was the last thing she wanted. Yet she still found herself acting like she did when she was attracted to a man.

They reached her house and she stopped walking.

"We're here." She said to Collins.

"Can you make it?" He asked

"I think so."

Anastasia took her hand from his shoulders and he slowly took his arm from around her waist. She smiled, and shivered.

She walked to the steps and looked back at Collins.

"I hope we get to see each other soon. Collins." She said smiling

She opened the door and walked into the building.

**Collins was about to say that he was gay and wasn't interested in women, but he found that he couldn't say anything. His heart began to race and he felt light headed. She opened the door and walked into the building. **

**Collins walked away, and he found himself wishing that Anastasia and him would bump into each other again...soon.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Authors note: Sorry you guys that its taken me so long to write a chapter. But i got back from school and had a ton of homework and boyfriend issues. but now thats all over (including the boyfriend), i'm going to write the next chapter, but to just hold you guys up until then, heres a little bit of the next chapter.**

Ana looked out the window of the cafe, there in front of her was Tom Collins. The man she had been waiting to see all day. A smile spread quickly across her face and she waved to him, he finally caught on that she was waving to him and he smiled and nodded. He walked into the cafe and quickly to Ana, who was trying to hide her huge grin and in the process made her look constipated.

Collins, couldn't believe that the woman he had been thinking about all day long was finally back into his life, even if it would be for a short time. He also found himself pushing the thoughts that had been going through his head about Ana and tried to think about the now instead of what might happen... Collins couldn't believe that he was thinking those things, about Ana... She was a GIRL!

**Hope thats ok, i hope it holds until tomorrow or maybe even tonight. Don't know, when the next chapter will be up. Love you all, hope you haven't all abandoned me.**


	6. Chapter 6

Heres the next chapter, sorry it took so long. Some notes, Ana is in bold, Collins in plain font and Angel in bold italic. Hope you enjoy it and I hope that you review.

**Anastasia looked out the window and sipped her coffee. She hadn't slept much, Collins had been occupying to much of her head for sleep. Images of them kissing, lying in bed, and holding each other. She smiled as more images flooded her mind. She wondered if he was thinking about her, and if he was thinking about her, what he was thinking about her. Was he picturing them together? Or was he thinking about them just being friends? As more images crowded her head, she took another sip and moaned as the hot beverage moved slowly and sensuously down her throat.**

**"Collins." She whispered "Tom Collins."**

**His face flashed through her head and she closed her eyes. Another image popped into her head this time, of Collins with a woman. But this woman wasn't Anastasia, this woman was a man. The two were kissing.**

**"I love you Angel." Collins said**

**Soon the woman turned into Anastasia, Collins smiled at the new woman in his arms and leaned down and kissed her, passionately and hard. **

**"I love you Ana." His voice echoed through her head.**

**Anastasia opened her eyes and frowned onto the city skyline. **

**She had seen that man before- the man in Collins arms- but she couldn't remember where, but she knew she had seen his face recently.**

**"Angel." She said to herself**

**Anastasia took another sip of coffee. She stepped back from the window and walked to her bedroom.**

**She opened her closet and began pulling random pieces of clothing out and throwing them on her bed. Today was her day off and she wanted to look good, just incase she ran into a certain somebody.**

**She turned on some music, and began trying on different clothes, mismatching coordinating and making outfits.**

**She finally decided on a white miniskirt, black leggings, black high heels, a red shirt and her red zip up sweater. She smiled as she looked into the mirror, she giggled and turned off the music and pranced out of her apartment.**

**As she passed people on the street, she would look and see if the person passing her was Tom Collins. But many people passed her and none of them were Tom Collins, but Anastasia would not let this little fact ruin her day off.**

**Her paycheck had come in two days before and Anastasia was up for a little shopping. Anastasia walked to the subway and got on, she traveled the seven stops to the shopping district.**

**The shopping district that she could afford that is. She walked into many stores, trying on skirts or shirt after skirt and shirt.**

**She had fun, and within two hours half her paycheck was gone.**

**Anastasia walked out of the store and since she was tired she decided that she needed a drink and food. She walked to a small cafe and sat down at a booth beside the window.**

**"What can I get you honey?" The waiter asked**

**"A beer, and fries please." Anastasia said**

**"Sure honey." **

**The waiter walked away and Anastasia looked out the window, she watched each person pass her window. She wished that Tom Collins would pass by, just so she could see his face.**

Tom Collins walked down the busy street, today was the day that he would get a job. He decided to start his life.

He would never be the same after Angel's death, but he wanted to get his life in control. Angel would have wanted him to.

He looked in windows of stores, of bars, until he came across a small bookstore with a sign that read, "**HELP WANTED"**

"This is it." He said to himself

He took a deep breath and opened the door, he looked around. It seemed like a nice place, bookshelves surrounding each wall. There were piles of books beside each of the shelves.

Collins nodded to himself, he would work in a place like this. Tom walked over to the desk and a man looked up.

"May I help you?" The man asked

"Yeah, I was inquiring about a job." Tom replied

"Sure. Can you fill this out and return it back to me."

"Sure no problem." Collins said to the man behind the desk

Collins looked around for a place to fill out the form, but seeing none in the bookstore he decided to go to a restaurant to fill it out. He stepped out of the store and out into the cold street. Application in hand, he looked around and seeing a small cafe up in the block he headed in that direction.

**Ana looked out the window of the cafe, there in front of her was Tom Collins. The man she had been waiting to see all day. A smile spread quickly across her face and she waved to him, he finally caught on that she was waving to him and he smiled and nodded. He walked into the cafe and quickly to Ana, who was trying to hide her huge grin and in the process made her look constipated. **

Collins, couldn't believe that the woman he had been thinking about all day long was finally back into his life, even if it would be for a short time. He also found himself pushing the thoughts that had been going through his head about Ana and tried to think about the now instead of what might happen... Collins couldn't believe that he was thinking those things, about Ana... She was a GIRL!

He shook his head and tried to get the thoughts out of his head.

He sat down at the stool beside Anastasia.

"Hello Anastasia." Collins said

**Ana almost fainted right there, his voice was everything that any girl would dream of saying what Collins just said to her. **

**"Hello Mr. Tom Collins. And what are you doing out in this part of town?" She asked**

**"I live a few subway stops away. And I'm looking for a job, I got fired from my last two." He said**

**"What did you do before?" Ana asked **

**Before Collins could answer, the waiter returned with Ana's french fries and beer. He looked at Collins.**

**"What can I get you honey?" The waiters asked **

**"Uh...what she's having please." Collins smiled at the waiter**

**Ana again almost fainted off the stool. That smile was probably the most amazing smile she had ever seen. Something inside her wanted that smile near her ear.**

_**Angel looked onto the scene in front of him. There sat Collins with the girl that Angel and his mother had chosen for Angel to be in. To take the place of Angel, for Angels spirit to be in. **_

_**He smiled, Anastasia was the perfect person to take his place, and she was the perfect girl. That was the only problem, she was a girl. But Angel was sure that Collins would realize that Anastasia was something special. That Angel was Anastasia. Angel knew that Collins would realize that. And again the two lovers would be able to love again.**_

Collins smiled again, Ana and he had been talking for an hour or so. And he was enjoying it. Ana laughed, she put her hand on Collins arm. And rubbed his arm.

"Collins, listen I've been wondering. Do you want to like come back to my place? Not to do anything, just I think the manager is giving us looks and we should probably leave. Because I' am also worried that if we stay here, we'll be forced to order something else and if we keep ordering I'll probably loose my rent money."

Collins wasn't sure, if he was ready for what might happen with Anastasia at her house. She smiled at him and he felt himself slowly melt. Like what Angel would do to him, the smallest smile of Angels would make his insides melt into instant jell-o. Ana had that same smile, his insides were now jell-o.

"Collins?" Ana asked

"Yeah sure, that sounds good." Collins decided.

Ana pulled out some money and put it on the table, just enough to cover both Collins and her meals.

"You sure?" Collins asked about the money

"Yes, just don't worry about it. It's my choice to pay and I'm going to pay. Don't worry about it honey."

Anastasia and Collins walked out onto the street, Collins felt Ana's arm link with his, and he bent his arm. And she grabbed his hand.

Collins looked at Ana, she looked up at him and they both smiled.

"Come on." Ana said

Collins had to do a double take. When Anastasia said the "Come on." Collins heard Angel, before they started being a couple. Angel and Collins were standing on the street and Collins complained about the coldness. Angel looked at him and said, "Come on" in the exact voice that Ana had said it only a few moments before.

**Collins was silent, Ana wondered why.**

**"Collins? Are you ready?" Ana asked**

**Collins shook himself out of his trance**

**"Yeah. Lets go." **

**He smiled and they began walking to the subway stop. Anastasia knew that something would happen. Well maybe she hoped the something would happen while they were at her house. **

**'PLEASE let something happen.' she prayed in her mind**


End file.
